Thanksgiving 2012

it's one of those days..bored to death.

don't get me wrong. i have tons of stuff to do and things to take care of, but instead i'm procrastinating. it's nothing new and i do it all the time. who am i kidding--i'm being very lazy because i don't feel motivated. i feel unmoved. i feel like blah. i don't feel sad. i don't feel happy. i don't know how i'm feeling.

i'm on a week break from work for the thanksgiving holiday. i've been spending my time doing things that are not on my priority list--for instance watching t.v., sleeping in, wasting time, etc. pretty much avoiding the thing that i need to do the most while i have all this free time. today, i slept in, watched t.v., somewhat cleaned up my closet, and watched the movie "you've got mail" for the nth time. it never fails to cheer me up and make me feel good inside..temporarily.

now that i actually feel like i'm stepping into the world of adulthood, there's a feeling of uncertainty. i don't know if i'm fit for this lifestyle--if i can endure all the trials. i don't know if i can prove to myself and everyone else that i am worthy to become an official member of this society. i feel that i've accomplished the things that i wanted to accomplish, but at the same time, i don't feel like it's sufficient. i'm just tired of having to prove myself all the time. i must be going through something right now. i just don't know what.